The angel sat on the couch. He wanted to speak to that human, but he was sleeping... Should he wake him up? And why was he sleeping on the floor? He bent over the man watching him sleep, he could feel his breath on his face, it smelt like menthol...Was it toothpaste? It wasn't the first time he was watching him sleep but it was the first time Dean seemed peaceful during his sleep. Was it because his brother was back? He smiled and laid next to him on the floor... It was the first time the angel was lying next to someone, he could observe the man's every features like that, it was strangely relaxing. Suddenly, the expression on the man's face changed, became kind of contorted, like he was in pain. He then turned his back to Castiel whispering something… The angel couldn't hear what Dean was saying, so, he got on his knees, bent over the sleeping man, bracing himself with one arm on the floor close to Dean's face, he leaned in and approached, his ear from Dean's mouth when he heard someone behind him. He straightened up and turned around to see who it was.
"Cass ? What are you doing? It's three in the morning…"
Castiel tilted his head to the side looking a Sam strangely.
"Where were you Sam?"
The angel teleported himself next to Sam looking up at him to catch his look, the young man looked uncomfortable under the angel's stare. He frowned and looked down at Castiel.
"Why are you looking at me like that? And why were you…"
"I was trying to understand you…"
Sam laughed and put his hands softly on his shoulder in a friendly way. The angel looked at Sam wondering why the young man was laughing at him, he tilted his head to the side, frowning.
"What, Cass? Man, really, what do you want to know ? I'll explain everything you want me too, but first, I need to move Dean, I can't let him sleep on the floor, Can I?"
Sam came closer to Dean and bent down looking at him fondly… He sighed and took him in his arms.
"He's having a nightmare again…" He said softly.
"What's a nightmare Sam?"
The young man almost dropped Dean from laughing when Castiel talked. He laid his older brother on the couch and put the cover over him, still laughing quietly at the angel's question. Cass was standing in the room, he hadn't moved an inch from his spot from when Sam first entered the room. He was observing Sam without really understanding what the young man was finding so funny… Was he fun? He hadn't joked though. Not even in Enochian. He looked at Sam who sat on a wooden chair at the table next to the door of the motel room. He gestured toward the chair opposite him.
"Come and sit, I'll try to explain it to you…"
The angel didn't move at first still looking at the young man. Why did Sam want him to sit to talk, was nightmares something that terrible that even a Winchester needed to sit to talk about it? He looked at Sam again and observed him. He was smiling at him, waiting for him to sit. He finally walked to the chair and sat awkwardly, his back a straight line like all of his muscles were taught in his body. Sam who was quietly observing him, laughed again.
"Why are you laughing at me Sam" The angel asked, putting his hands on his thighs.
"It's just funny to watch you act like a human being, you're acting as far as a human would do." Sam answered
"How am I…"
"Hey, before you ask another question, let's start with the nightmares, Ok ?" Sam asked.
He took a breath to start his explanation and stopped, his mouth hanging open a little bit, a question on his lips.
"Do you even sleep Cass ?"
"No, I don't need to."
Sam sighed and run his hand through his hair wondering how he could start explaining this to someone who didn't even knew what it was to sleep. Castiel was staring at him, waiting patiently. The intensity of his look was making Sam a bit uncomfortable. The young man kept thinking for several minutes before making his mind on a way to start. He reached for the fridge, taking out two beers and handing one to the angel.
"You know we need to sleep to replenish our energy, to give rest to our bodies. When you sleep, your mind, human mind doesn't stop working. It uses your memories, your feelings of what you lived or talked about recently and products a sort of movie in your head. Do you understand?"
Castiel looked really confused and took out a little piece of paper from one of his trench-coat's pocket, and gave it to Sam. The hunter took it and smiled looking at it.
"Why are you keeping the ticket from the movie we went to watch last year?"
"If it's like a movie, why are humans scared of nightmares?"
"Well it's not really like movie… First, you're the only one able to see him. In a movie, you know that's a fake story, you're not in it, not living it. But you're into the nightmares, you live it and you don't know it's a nightmare until you wake up… So when you're dreaming, externally, you'll appear peaceful, sleeping calmly and when you're having a nightmare, your sleep will be troubled, you'll appear afraid, sad…"
The Angel turned the head in the direction of the couch, he wasn't able to see Dean sleep from where he was sitting, but he was lost on his thoughts. He understood what Sam had just explained to him, but he couldn't seem to find a reason why Dean was having a nightmare. He had everything he wanted back to him. His car, his brother… They were back together, what else could scare the older of the Winchesters? What was he dreaming about? Sam was smiling when the angel looked back to him.
"Well, lately… Well, since several years now, a new person has arrived in his life…"
"But you are the person he loves, aren't you?"
"Well he loves me as a brother, and even though we stay together we do everything for each other, there is some love we can't give to each other… A deeply kind of love. And in his nightmare, he dreams about the person he's in love with and this person is leaving him…"
"Is he dreaming about Anna? She tried to kill you!! He says with a bit of jealousy in his tone…"
"Huh no, it's someone you know… A lot!" Sam answered smiling
The young Winchester was pretty happy to hear a bit of jealousy in Castiel's voice, he couldn't say to the angel that his brother was dreaming about him. It wasn't his secret to tell. He drank a little of his beer, observing Castiel. The angel was once again lost in his thoughts.
"What is being in love? Is it like you and my brother?"
Sam choked on his beer, dropping it on the floor. He was coughing, his face red as a tomato. Castiel didn't understand his reaction, he kept observing Sam, tilting his head to the side… Was he making him uncomfortable? He frowned once again and said quietly.
"I'm sorry Sam, I didn't meant to hurt you."
The young man regained some composure after he stopped coughing. He got up from his chair, grabbed some paper from the table to wipe the mess on the floor, sighing softly.
"You didn't hurt me. I can explain it to you from my own experience but, I don't know if you'll understand, being in love is something beautiful and it can hurt a lot, but that's something that will always make you stronger…"
"Why do you want to be in love if that hurts?" Castiel said confused
"Well, you can be hurt by love if, for example, the person you love doesn't love you back, or if the person you love is mean to you and hurts you, should it be with words or physical pain. You can be hurt if the person you love dies… But everything is worth it, love is something beautiful, it's a strong feeling that binds you to someone else. Love is a really complicated thing, Cass… It's not something you can fully understand by being explained. It's something you understand by yourself, by experiencing it. Don't you have a person you're always thinking about? A person you'd like to spend most of your time with? A person who would help you to make good choices? Who would make you feel stronger, make you feel complete? A person you would die for? I'm sure you've already felt that way at least once."
The angel didn't answer to Sam's question. All the things the young man had said were running through his head, replaying again and again and each time, only one person came to his mind. He turned his head in the direction of the couch, trying to look at the older Winchester. Sam caught the look on his face and smiled.
"So you do understand what I mean…" He said sitting back on the wooden chair
Castiel opened his mouth to answer when Dean jumped awake on the couch…
"WHERE IS THE PIE" Dean yelled falling back on the couch
Sam started to laugh at his brother, shaking his head slightly. He got up to see if he were still sleeping, he bent over the couch when his brother's hand caught him by his shirt.
"Bring me some Apple pie, Bitch!"
"I was about to go out… Actually someone is here for you, jerk." Sam answered laughing.
The young brother grabbed his jacket from the back of the couch and started to walk to the door, he looked back quickly at Castiel and smiled.
"You should have way better tastes, Cass."
Sam got out, slamming the door behind him, letting his stupid brother with his angel alone in the motel room…